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SERMON:
A
single weed sprouts up in a garden. The rain waters it, and the sun feeds it
with light. Unchallenged, is sucks up nutrients from the soil and grows to full
maturity. A gust of wind scatters its seed pod across the garden, and beyond.
High
in the snow laden mountains of the Cascades, a fragile layer of crystallized ice
give way. It sets off a chain reaction all around it and an avalanche begins to
thunder down into the valley tearing through stands of trees and destroying
everything in its path.
A
single zebra mussel attaches itself to the anchor of a cargo ship near the St.
Lawrence Seaway. When through the canal, the anchor is dropped again, the
mussel falls into a new home. Before long a large population is spawned. Intake
pipes which provide municipal water supplies begin to clog. Indigenous clams
and mussels are smothered. Diseases passed on to the local waterfowl kill tens
of thousands of birds.
THE SEEDS OF DESTRUCTION ARE SMALL. And in infancy they seem unimportant.
But when these seeds grow unchallenged, the results are often devastating.
The
same is true when it comes to disciplining children. When bad behaviors and
attitudes are allowed to grow unchecked, the results are often devastating.
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Today
we continue our study of the life of king David. This is sixth message in a
series of eight. David had a lot of good traits. A lot of strengths. But
disciplining his children was not one of them. And the results were
devastating.
Absalom
and Tamar were brother and sister. They were David’s children, born to his wife
Maacah. Amnon was another of David’s sons, born to his wife Ahinoam. This made Amnon
Tamar’s half brother.
Even
though it was not lawful for Amnon to have Tamar as his wife, he longed for
her. And in the course of time he raped her.
The
seeds of destruction were sown, and David did nothing to uproot them.
2 Samuel 13:15-29 (NIV)
15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he
hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”
16 “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a
greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”
But he refused to listen to her. 17 He
called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt
the door after her.” 18 So his servant put her out and bolted
the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of
garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put
ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands
on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your
brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t
take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a
desolate woman.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And
Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because
he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at
Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come
there. 24 Absalom went to the king and said, “Your servant has
had shearers come. Will the king and his attendants please join me?”
25 “No, my son,” the king replied. “All of us should not go;
we would only be a burden to you.” Although Absalom urged him, he still refused
to go but gave him his blessing.
26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon
come with us.”
The king asked him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But
Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king’s sons.
28 Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high
spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill
him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” 29 So
Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons
got up, mounted their mules and fled.
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When
David heard what Amnon had done to Tamar he was furious. But David did nothing
about it. From that point on Tamar took refuge in her brother Absalom’s house.
The Scripture says she lived there as a desolate woman.
Absalom
hated Amnon for what he had done, and he plotted to avenge his sister by
murdering Amnon.
After
two years, Absalom got his chance and had Amnon murdered. When David found out,
he was devastated. He mourned for his dead son Amnon, and in time he also longed
for Absalom to return. Absalom had fled to a distant city after the murder.
Again,
David did little to seek justice in connection with his children. He did not
try to put Absalom on trial for his crime, and eventually Absalom came back to
live in Jerusalem. At first, David refused to see him. But in time, he allowed
Absalom to visit.
Still,
David sought no justice. And slowly, Absalom gathered the support of the
people, and got himself proclaimed king. As a result, David was forced to run
for his life from Jerusalem.
How
much of this could have been avoided if David had only disciplined Amnon. Or
Absalom. If he had brought them to justice. We’ll never know how things might
have been different.
▬
David’s
sons learned from their father’s example. They learned to lie, deceive, to take
what was not theirs to take, to murder. And when David did nothing to
discipline them, or to bring them to justice, things only got worse.
Things
got worse for David’s children. They experienced little correction for their
sinful actions, and so they continued in them. Things got worse for others. The
sins of David’s children led other people to do wicked things. Things go worse
for David. The sins of his children brought pain and grief to him and his whole
family, and to the nation of Israel as well.
▬
Disciplining
those you love is unpleasant—both for the one receiving the discipline, and
also for the one applying it. But it is oh, so important. In the book of
Proverbs, David’s son Solomon would later write…
“18 Chasten your son while there is hope,
And do
not set your heart on his destruction” (Proverbs 19:18 NKJV).
What Solomon means is, don’t set your heart on destroying
your children by not disciplining them properly. The parent who fails to apply
discipline might not think they’re helping to sow the seeds of their child’s
death, but that’s exactly what David did by his failure to correct his
children.
“18 Chasten your son while there is hope,
And do
not set your heart on his destruction” (Proverbs 19:18 NKJV).
When Solomon wrote this proverb, perhaps he was thinking
of what had happened to his sister Tamar. Or what had happened to Amnon. Or
what later happened to his brother Absalom. Later on, Absalom’s rebellion ended
in his own brutal death on the battlefield.
IN THE MOMENT, IT’S OFTEN EASIER NOT TO DISCIPLINE. BUT
IN TIME, THAT CHOICE BEARS FRUIT THAT IS MUCH HARDER TO STOMACH.
Because discipline is unpleasant, discipline is sometimes
perceived as a bad thing. Today you have to be careful how you discipline your
child in public unless you want to get reported. Some even council you
shouldn’t use negative words like “no” to your child. Just reason with them
logically. In past decades some child psychologists have advocated an extremely
passive approach to raising children. Let the child find their own way in life.
In that way you respect their individuality.
The truth is, letting your child find their own way in
life and avoiding discipline—that is not loving. It’s lazy, careless, and
self-centered. Solomon wrote…
“15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod
of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15 NKJV).
“24 He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he
who loves him disciplines him promptly”
(Proverbs 13:24 NKJV).
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Discipline is
important because it weeds out the evil tendencies of the sinful nature, and
encourages good actions which match up with God’s will. A lack of discipline
allows the sinful nature to grow stronger, suppresses good actions, and damages
a person’s relationship with God.
We aren’t
showing love for others when we simply let them think and do whatever they
want. Instead, true love seeks to build up a person’s relationship with God. True
love speaks about what is right, and what is wrong. True love seeks the will of
God, even when doing so is difficult.
▬
Perhaps the
most important kind of discipline to practice, is self-discipline. For our
example teaches like nothing else. When we don’t discipline ourselves, we teach
others to do the same. When we hold ourselves accountable for what we’ve done,
we teach other to do the same.
Don’t get me
wrong, being a good example of self discipline doesn’t mean being a perfect
person. We’re NOT perfect. But when we sin, we CAN still be a good example by
taking responsibility for our actions, openly denouncing our sins, and seeking
forgiveness for them.
DISCIPLINE,
TRUE LOVE, AND PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. We learn the importance of these things through the
tragic story of David and his children.
▬
In the Lord’s
Prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray to God as our heavenly FATHER. He is a HOLY
Father. A perfect Father. And as such, he is A FATHER WHO DISCIPLINES HIS
CHILDREN.
In the book of
Hebrews it says…
“…My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the
Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises
every son whom he receives” (Hebrews 12:5-6 ESV).
When we feel
the weight of guilt fall on us because of the sinful things we’ve done, or because
of the good things we’ve failed to do, this is from the LORD. It is his rebuke.
And it comes to us because God loves us. He wants to lead us away from sin,
which wars against faith and brings pain and suffering to our lives.
God holds us
accountable for our sins so that we might see how wicked they truly are, and so
we might see the punishment that we honestly deserve because of our sinful
choices.
But then God
does something unexpected. He forgives us. He points us to the cross of his only
sinless Son. To the cross of Jesus. He points us to the cross where Jesus had
the wrath of God poured out on his soul because of our sins. And God tells us,
because Jesus suffered your hell, you will never have to. You stand forgiven
and cleansed by his blood. And into the arms of our heavenly Father we go, with
tears flowing free. Through the message of sins forgiven through Christ Jesus,
our heavenly Father draws us into his embrace, and we know that we truly are LOVED,
and FORGIVEN.
▬
And this is how
we must discipline our children as well. And how we must discipline our fellow
Christians. Holding them accountable, showing them their sins, until they see
their sin clearly in repentance. And then we must assure them that in Christ
their sins are truly forgiven. Gone. Washed away. For they are.
▬
The seeds of
destruction start small. The seeds of evil actions and bad attitudes start
small. And they grow large. But even then, our great God is able to root them
out. He does this with the firm hand of discipline, and accountability. And he
finishes with the tender embrace of his forgiving Gospel.
PRAYER: Father in
heaven, thank you first of all for making us your children through faith in
Jesus, who has truly taken all our sins away. When your hand of discipline
falls on us, help us to endure it with humility. Help us to accept your rebuke,
knowing that the hand that rebukes is the same hand that lifts us up in love.
Help us also to discipline our children with balance and thoughtfulness. And
help us to hold our fellow Christians accountable as well, again, with balance
and thoughtfulness and love. Help US also to receive rebuke with full
acceptance, when it is needed. And when your discipline has trained us, LORD, fill
us with peace. For we know that your mercy endures forever, and that you
discipline those whom you have received as your own children, through Christ
Jesus our only Savior. Amen.
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